Pocketing: when your partner is ashamed of you

There are many new terms that appear related to new technologies and that are reported on social media. Even if the name may sounds new to you, pocketing has been with us for pretty much longer than you think.

Pocketing means that your partner is trying to hide you from other people. For example, you have been with someone for a few months but you still don’t know his/her friends nor his/her family, he/she always finds an excuse when you try to make plans with other people or if he/she meets someone they know on the street, he/she always creates some sort of distances just to don’t have to explain who you are.

And you are always question yourself: is there something wrong with me? Why does he/she do it? What are his/hers real intentions?

How to deal with pocketing

When you are unable to know whether the intentions are positive or negative, it’s best to expose what you feel calmly, without immediately attacking your partner. A quiet and sincere talk is the best approach.

Make it clear from the start that you are not judging, but you are just curious about the behavior. Just expose a past situation, like when your partner didn’t introduce you as a boyfriend to someone they met at the restaurant. In these cases you must show that this has led you to draw some conclusions about the relationship, and all you want is to clarify it.

The purpose of the conversation is to try to understand why you are not introduced to the people with whom your partner relates and whether or not that situation may change in the future.

However, if your partner becomes defensive, it can be a sign that the relationship is not on a good path and, in the future, your partner will deal exactly the same way with similar situations.

Pocketing: when should you end that toxic relationship?

It’s hard to say, but that’s where you need to look at the patterns. If you were not introduced to friends or family, this may be related to the fact that the last person they met was someone that your partner was going to marry, whose relationship did not work out – this being an understandable reason.

But if you notice that there is no other plausible reason, it may be the time to reconsider how far your relationship can go.

In this case, you have to face the situation directly: If you just want different things, that’s fine. You may not want to continue to live in an isolated relationship. This is the best way to get out of a relationship where you feel unwanted in someone else’s life.